My Dream

Linus and Jaana are my siblings, we all are orphans. I hear them cry from around the corner, I run looking for them. As I get there, I face one of my childhood sights: a couple of nuns are herding a bunch of uniformed girls from the Catholic school (they looked at us, wild working class children, as evil beings to be avoided; even as children we were very aware of that). They are at the entrance of a dark, square shaped tunnel. Linus and Jaana are inside crying after trying to run away from the nuns, while them, nuns, try to block the exit perhaps involuntarily forcing them further inside.

Tonight's bed story: Batman

Once upon a time there was a man who owned lots of stores and companies. Thanks to them, he earned loads of money every day, and with it, he bought pretty things with which he filled his home because he thought that the more pretty things he had, the happier he will be. Since it was so much money that he earned, it was impossible for him to spend it all everyday, so, at sunset, he deposited all the remaining cash in a bank.

After a year, he had sooo much money saved in the bank that he thought he really should do something with it. What shall I do with so much money? -he asked himself one day looking at the rain outside behind one of the big windows of his silent house. Since he didn't know what to do, instead of paying more money to the people in the stores that made him get so much money, he decided to rather spend a bloody lot of money in a very expensive custom so that he could go around dressed like a bat...

Summer Scenes

My son watches me with interest as I go mad gesticulating in the air, with furious assassin fever, clenching my teeth and ranting about long winters and fucking insects of hell.

Then I recover. I remember that I always tell him that hurting other beings is wrong. I put on my patient and lovingful father voice, and I think of Saint Thomas Aquina.

They say that Saint Thomas Aquinas loved every single living thing, he loved everyone and everything, including telemarketing sellers and mosquitoes.

Well, I don't doubt his saintliness, but from all things in the world, I am sure of one: Mister Aquinas didn't ever live in Finland.

Joulupukki's Wish List

Economic recession adjustment policy shakes Finland.

Europa Press - Oulu - 27/04/2010

Local newspaper Kaleva reports that Joulupukki (aka Santa Claus) announced this Monday the final implementation of his new adjustment plan aimed at solving the serious problems that his company, Christmas Oy, is facing due to the economic recession.

"Among the measures adopted, his house will now be available for sub-renting during the Summers in order to make the company more resource efficient. Also, all non-essential elves have been made redundant and

On Vulcanos

Creatures shall be seen on the earth who will always be fighting one with another, with the greatest losses and frequent deaths on either side. There will be no bounds to their malice; by their strong limbs a great portion of the trees of the vast forests of the world shall be laid low; and when they are filled with food, the gratification of their desire shall be to deal out death, affliction, labour, terror, and banishment to every living thing; and from their boundless pride they will desire to rise toward heaven, but the excessive weight of their limbs will hold them down. Nothing shall remain on earth, or under the earth, or in the waters that shall not be pursued, disturbed or spoiled, and that which is in one country removed into another. And their bodies shall be made the tomb and the means of transit of all the living bodies which they have slain.

O earth, why do you not open and hurl them into the deep fissures of thy vast abysses and caverns, and no longer display in the sight of heaven so cruel and horrible a monster.

-From Leonardo da Vinci's notebooks.

Family Theatre

Linus is having a bath, and plays with his plastic fishes in the water.
(Juanmi enters)

Juanmi: Linus, I think you need to wash your hair, it has been a long time since you last did.

Linus: No, my head no... nooo.

J: Yes, I know you don't like to get your head wet, but I really think you have to. Your hair is getting all tangled and you are getting rastas, see? All messed up.

L: Nooooooo...

J: OK, what do you think of this: you go on playing for a while and then we come back and wash your hair very carefully?

L: Yes, yes.

(Juanmi knows, but leaves)

(5 minutes later, Juanmi enters)

Dear Kymmenen #4, English

I love anonymous stuff, they get spicy and juicy. Check this one out:

Dear Kymmenen,

You claim to be an english teacher, arent you ashamed of writing an english even worse than that of