A Happy Birthday

More often than not, when any special date arrives, I end being tagged as a killjoy with unresolved childhood issues. Which is true. But, mind you, today, parishioners, listen to the untold story, listen to:

Birthdays according to Kymmenen's Gospel.


In my experience of living independently and alone, it never came to me as a natural thing to celebrate birthdays, Christmas or New Year for that matter. Being alone, I didn't have to deal with any arduous discussions -those dates just came and went away, and I occupied myself with the usual schnickschnacks of existence.

And, yes, if you wonder, yes, the loneliness that came with it, sometimes, felt good.

Things like that, I never thought I would need to reconsider the issue ever again, but I did. After my children's birth, negotiations with Veronika started almost immediately to reach an agreement about the celebration of such celebrations.

Let it be known why I don't like birthdays for once and all.

One thing is using the special occasion to have some friends over and spend time with people, creating a chance to gather dear friends and family together, and, well, to celebrate someone's dear existence. It's OK to bake something to go with the coffee, and to provide some treat for children or for alcohol friendly people.

A different thing, is holding a birthday, with candles, balloons, presents, garlands, a free buffet and a clown, and passing on the tacit agreement of, if you come, you bring a present.

If I refuse to have those, I'm not taken seriously, I'm patted on the head or people get disappointed with me for being a killjoy, and I have to feel guilty in the end wondering if I'm being unfair towards my children's happiness.

See how it works? It's the Devil's work.

It's not being a freaking killjoy, you heretics. Hands off me, may the sky open and fall upon your heads. Don't you see? I'm just trying to move the focus of the celebration away from things and to have it on people instead.

I don't want (mostly) useless stuff accumulating around me, I feel uneasy with the idea of having money being spent in such occasions, it can't be a sustainable way of living. I don't want to promote that.

What I want to promote is community bounding, responsible consumerism, appreciation of people, and to destroy the mischievous spell which keeps us believing in the ridiculous idea that one can show love and appreciation by giving something to someone, which the first one got merely by spending money.

It's not some innocent gift, a detail. I know they are well meant, but I feel it prevents us from loving each other, from feeling appreciated for what we are, for our dear presence.

Free yourself from this, brothers and sisters. Boycott your kids' and your own birthday next time.